hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
