I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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