They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
