This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
