Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
