I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
My underwear smells like fireworks.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Alive.
So much puke
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Damn victory sex feels great
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
