So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
