I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
