from now on my penis is your penis
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
