hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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