all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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