Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.