Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.