Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
