Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.