Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
What a dumb baby whore.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.