You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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