You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize