dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
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Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My feet surprised me
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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