I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
