You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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