How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
