Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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