My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
When are your genitals available?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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