Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
