I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My vagina is officially offended.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
