Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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