If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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