how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
