Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
