Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
