Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
