Girls should come with a carfax report
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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