I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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