I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
