You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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