She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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