Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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