I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
