just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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