so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
