is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
she peed on how many people?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
