There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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