she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Let's paint friendship bongs
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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