So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
