Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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