you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
