Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
