Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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