Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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