Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Randomize
