ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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