No I am not eating basil off your cock
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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