you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
