they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
