drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
