Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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