you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
