she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
