I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
