got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
meet me or not, i'm out of control
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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